I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
