You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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