Small penises have feelings too.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
