butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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