Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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