This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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