Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
