I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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