how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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