there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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