i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
