I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
