My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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