did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
