apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
