thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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