actually, I'm a sock model
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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