Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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