You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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