and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
