so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
