i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
