I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
