Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
