Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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