She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
