1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
