I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
