HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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