Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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