Kiss
Puke
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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