I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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