We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
