It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
