I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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