I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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