Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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