So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
