I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
