nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
