"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
