tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
