So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
