bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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