Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
