I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Sext me about skeletons
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
