So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
