Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
