TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
