oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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